rest in peace, bird, my short lived friend.

hey friend,

 

so i wrote this on 03/12/2017. i haven’t posted it until now because it has been in the back of my mind on whether to post it or not. it was a little touchy and emotional for me.

anyways… thanks for reading.

 

be well, my friend.
jb [20:04]


 

hey friend,

 

I never expected this night to be like this…

I came over for my brother. He wanted me to see what his life is like here at his place. It wasn’t bad at all to be honest. He has a good set of people around him. People that care about him. I can feel the love.
It really sucks that all of this is happening to his friends. They lost a friend. A loyal one at that. When I met this friend of theirs, she was really hype. She was dominant, loud, happy, protective. They told me, put your hand out and say, “nice to meet you.” And I did so. She shook my had a couple of times, then continued to growl at me.
To be honest, i was a little intimidated. I wasn’t exactly sure how to act, I wasn’t sure how I should approach her. But she eventually caved in and welcomed me into her home. I proceeded to keep to myself and mind my own business.
It’s weird how the choices we make drastically affect us. Like today, I didn’t plan to come over to make dinner for my brother and his friends. I didn’t decide to ride along with my brother to go to the storage and the grocery store and to his place. I didn’t plan or hope to see her lying there on the side of the road, lifeless.
When I first seen her with my eyes, I immediately thought, no way. That could not have been her. I asked my brother if that was his friends, he said I don’t know. I pulled into the driveway and immediately my brother got out to check it out.
Sure enough…. it was her.
He picked her up. Her lifeless body hanging from his arms.
My brothers friend came running towards us. I seen the pain in his eyes and it was terrible. The tears ran down his face and his head shook in denial. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. I thought, no… this kind of stuff only happens in the movies. This kind of stuff doesn’t happen in real life. This cannot be happening.
My brothers friend took off in his truck.
I wasn’t sure why… maybe fear… anger… sadness… denial… I didn’t know what to think of it. It was hard to see someone like this.
My brother carried her over to the pavement and she laid there, sprawled out under the garage light. I felt cold. I was scared… hurt… sad to say the least. How can something like this happen to someone so innocent.
I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I wanted to say some sort of prayer… but honestly didn’t know any. I felt a little shameful for not knowing what to do or say.
My brothers friend came back. Tears rolling down his face, looking at her with such sorrow. For the short time I’ve known him, I felt so much pity.
Minutes passed as we just sat there and stared at her. The wind blew, making it hard to just sit there and not move around for warmth.
He got up and went inside. I didn’t know what he was going to do, so I told my brother to go check up on him. He did, they both come back. Out with a blanket and her favorite toy.
He wrapped her up in the blanket and proceeded to take her to her unexpected grave.
He got the shovels. My brother and him started to dig.
After all the digging, they finally set her in her final resting place.
He fell to his knees and started to cry again. For the short time Ive hung out with him, i felt bad. It was crappy to see him like this.
Final thoughts… I’m sorry this happened to you Bird. I hope you rest in peace…
For some reason, deep down, I feel like this is all my fault. I should have just stayed home and read my book. I should have just said, “Sorry, brother. I don’t feel like making dinner for you tonight. Take a rain check?”
I guess things happen for a reason. I don’t know…
be well, my friend.
jb [00:25]
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