i finally found motivation to get the apartment together. i’ve got about 75% packed.
honestly, i don’t know what i’m gonna do here in the next few weeks. i know it’s going to pass by quickly. yet here i am typing up my life as i should be prioritizing the next step in my life.
as i was cleaning some stuff out, i found the case to my high school tennis racket. i opened it up even though i knew what exactly was in it. nostalgia filled up my head and brought back some good memories.
i was happy back then. my only priority then was working hard to be a good tennis player. i was so happy back then. i loved playing it. i could play it 24/7 and not ever get bored.
i hate that that part of me is gone. i miss my old self.
if i had a chance to make a phone call to my past, i would tell him to make the most of life. high school is the easiest part of becoming an adult. i would tell him to not be afraid to take chances. tell her you love her. come out to your friends. i would tell him that even though things might seem difficult to deal with at that point in time, it will not compare to the other hardships he would face in the future.
would i even be the same person i am today if i told old me that? who knows.
but here i am… in the present. trying to cope with depression, trying to live a life that is represented as happy. it’s just a facade. people can never know what goes on. they will never understand. period.
anyway… back to packing. until next time,
be well, my friend.