i will apologize in advance for the depressing post today. this weekend has not been so good to me.
mentally, i am breaking down. the good to bad day ratio is unfavorable. as it’s always been lately, the bad days outshine the good ones.
it’s not that i asked for this. i wish i could get help. but i think getting help is going to fail me. i feel like it will soon no longer be an option for me. i will just be succumbed to this depression forever.
i feel as if i am too far into this depression that i am too weak to crawl out of it. i am imprisoned in my own mind, surrounded by darkness.
i’ve lost all hope. not just in myself, but in others as well. i feel like i can’t really go to anyone to explain the thoughts that run through my brain. i hate it so much.
the weekends are much worse than the weekdays. i have no confidence to go out and make something of myself. i get scared. anxiety overcomes me and stops me from doing anything i would consider fun. why does this happen?
i want to leave and get out of this place. i want to move somewhere where no one knows my name. i want a do-over. do those even exist anymore? who knows. i will never know…
i’ve got to go for now. i think i’ve made it clear how my weekend is going. i promise i am trying to find ways to make it better. anyways…
be well, my friend.